There are lots of different opinions on the Will Smith/Chris Rock fiasco during the Oscars. Even those who didn’t witness the event live, have probably seen a clip or read a description and formed a view. Beccastone is thinking about the occurrence from the perspective of how might this affect kids? Is this something that even matters as far as kids are concerned?
Our view is that parents should treat this as a teachable moment, a time to talk to kids about anger management and self-control, which were in short supply on Will Smith’s side. Putting aside what Chris Rock said, it was shocking to see one of the biggest stars in Hollywood physically attack another person for comments made during a comedy performance. We know there are those who disagree and believe that Chris was wrong to call out Will’s wife Jada. Well, possibly. But a physical attack? That is rarely if ever a solution to anything, and is a terrible message to send to young people about how to handle disputes.
Will Smith had a host of options other than attacking Chris Rock if he had bothered to think about it. Indeed, that should be one of the topics of discussion with kids. Think before reacting. Take some time to reflect. What else could Smith have done to address this perceived slight on his wife? What would have been a better response? What would the child have done in a similar circumstance that may be closer to home—like if a friend cracks a derogatory joke about a parent, sibling, or other close relative?
Parents can role play with their kids so kids can practice what to do or say if they are faced with a similar situation. Sometimes the answer might be to just let some time pass before doing anything especially if there is no immediate danger to anyone. Parents might also describe a similar situation that happened to them, what they did and how it worked out. Even if the parent did something they later regretted or for which they suffered consequences, that is also good for the child to know so they can learn.
Chris Rock’s measured and controlled response to Smith’s attack is also worth pointing out to kids as a positive example of how to react to someone who is clearly out of control. Chris gathered himself and continued the show.
We suspect that the discussion will continue on the Smith/Rock saga, and there will be even more food for thought and parent/child discussion. It will be interesting and good for kids to see if Will takes further steps to make amends for his aggressive behavior and what those steps are.
It is critical for kids to have tools to solve problems in ways that are not violent and that avoid violence. With weapons so easy to obtain, and the rise in mental health issues among young people, it is more important than ever to help kids figure out constructive ways to respond to insults, anger and resentment. These skills can and should be taught, practiced and learned. They may help kids bridge difficult social and emotional situations now and into their adult lives.
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